At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
