i may or may not be watching the land before time
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
