I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
