I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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