so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
