Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
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And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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