just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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