There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
