it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
