I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
