So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
