now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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