You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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