Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I look better un-naked...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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