I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
