We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
soo... how was my night?
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