Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize