That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
