Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
