I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
