What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
