i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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