Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
