I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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