Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
