they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Welp...herpes.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
