Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
