Midget sex pt 2 tonight
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
