so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
