do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
