Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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