What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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