U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I need a burrito and a hug.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
