I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
