why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
