Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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