It's Friday. Sex?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
