either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize