i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
