but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
