he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
