He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
