it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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