we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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