Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think my tv is drunk
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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