when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
