i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
