i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
