I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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