dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
