I love black thongs
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
God I need to hump something, right now.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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