We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
