Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
