just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
