idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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