Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
