he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize