Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize