Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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